glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
