Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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