Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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