Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
