Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
