its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
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