She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
