"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
