are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize