I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
