I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
