I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
