i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
