oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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