If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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