Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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