he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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