My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
