dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
