I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
