Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
