We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize