Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
