Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
