the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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