Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
