No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
