Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
