make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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