your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize
