I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
