is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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