I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
