i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
