he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Drunk is not a location!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize