Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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