I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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