she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
