This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
