North Korea, Best Korea!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
