Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
