He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize