how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
