I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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