margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize