Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
