I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
