she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
