If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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