Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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