im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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