You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
