She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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