yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize