I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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