speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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