FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
