We're facebook friends in real life
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
