Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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