I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want her autograph on my taint
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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