from now on my penis is your penis
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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