How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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